I use in-session skills to create a safe place to help you and your partner hear each other in new ways and increase your bond. I teach about how our fight, flight and freeze reactions get triggered in relationships and teach you skills to get out of these patterns. You will come away feeling hopeful about the future of your relationship.

Emotionally focussed couples therapy has a significant body of research that supports its efficacy. This is one of the types of couples counselling I use. Couples change and the change is sustained over long term, generally. It can especially help in situations where there are “injuries” such as an affair and when there is a history of trauma in one of the partners.

I also lean heavily on Ellyn and Peter Bader’s Developmental Stages Model which is based on more than 100, 000 couples’ experiences and indicates there are normal stages that couples go through. This model creates a positive outlook on relationships.

Most couples who contact me are hoping to:

• Feel close again
• Argue less
• Have a more satisfying sex life
• Feel more confident about staying together
• Have less separation anxiety
• Deal with an emotional injury such as an affair
• Prepare for and navigate the very challenging relationship changes that occur after moving in together or having a baby
• Learn skills to create a sustainable relationship when one or both partners have ADHD
• Understand normal relationship development

Couples Definitions

 What is a lover?

Our lover is supposed to be the one person…we can count on who will always respond. Instead, unhappy partners feel emotionally deprived, rejected, even abandoned.

What are fights really about?

In that light, couples’ conflicts assume their true meaning: they are frightened protests against eroding connection and a demand for emotional reengagement.

 What does a happy couple look like?

In contrast, at the core of happy relationships is a deep trust that partners matter to each other and will reliably respond when needed.

What is love?

Love is a constant process of tuning in, connecting, missing and misreading cues, disconnecting, repairing, and finding deeper connection.

What is the dance of love?

It is a dance of meeting and parting and finding each other again, minute by minute and day by day.

(Definitions From Sue Johnson’s, Love Sense)

If you are in a so-so relationship and want to get to an awesome place-  you are welcome.

If you are in a bad place and want to get back to where you used to be – come on in.

If you are in a fantastic relationship and want to learn some research and skills to prepare you for marriage, living together, and having babies – give me a call.

I welcome all people and enjoy the variety that comes with working with people in all relationship types, stages, structures and sexual orientations.